IT Temp Diaries #20

I gave him another shot at the batch files he failed at before.

There are two files: A file named "ftpparams" and a batch file that uses ftp -s:ftpparams to call that config to download a file off a server. Simple. The file contents are in a "how-to" document with step-by-step instructions using edit commands on the CLI.

However, he's doing this in a Win8x64 box. No Edit. I didn't say anything...

"I keep getting file not found."
When does that come up?
"When I run this."
What's the entire message?
"File not found."
I seriously doubt that. Wanna try again? Are you *sure* it's when you *run* the file? (I keep giving him outs...)
"File not found."
*sigh* Show me. (Yep. He gets it on the VERY FIRST FUCKING THING IN THE INSTRUCTIONS, long before he gets to RUN the goddamn thing.)
"See?"
Dude. It's telling you that Edit doesn't exist on this machine. What do you think you need to do?
"Google!" He starts <clicky><clicky>
NO! Win 8 doesn't have Edit. So what do you think you should do?
"I can't Google?"
No, goddammit. Think for yourself.
"That's what Google is for."
Dude, you're failing at IT. You need a different text editor.
<clicky><clicky> "There's no Notepad!"
Yes there is.
"No there isn't, look!" He had right-clicked on the desktop and was looking in the New menu. "See! Only Text Document."
*goddamnmotherfuckingidiot* Ok, and if you create a new text document, it opens in Notepad.
"Well, yeah. But Notepad should be here!"
No, it shouldn't.
"It is in every other computer."
I'll give you $5 if you find another computer in this building that shows the word Notepad when you right-click on the desktop. But in the meantime, you need to use Notepad to create the config and batch files. Make sure you save them in the places the instructions say.

So he does everything with Notepad. Note the name of the parameter file. No file extension...

"Hey, it doesn't work. Notepad is broken."
*sigh* What troubleshooting have you done?
"I went through every line of the batch file."
You think that's where the problem is?
"Where else could it be?"
I <clicky><clicky> and use the command line to view the file.
"It looks right to me."
Look closer.
"Still don't see it."
What filename did the instructions say to use for the parameter file?
"Ftpparams.txt."
*sigh* Read it to me.
"...ftpparams. See, it's right!"
You don' t see anything different?
"No, I did it right!"
The instructions do NOT say anything about .TXT.
"But it isn't there!" He points at the Windows Explorer view.
Google how to rename a file in DOS.

15 minutes later...

"It still doesn't work."
I check his work. It's still named the same. I ask him to show me what he did...

ren ftpparms.txt ftpparms.txt