He's an IT temp. He should be able to assemble a simple desktop.
I just spent 20 minutes teaching him how to map a network drive. I don't think this is working out.
I
just need a help desk backup so I can work on other shit. I'm fucking
slammed with shit, and really need someone I can hand off the easy work
to.
Bossman hired this guy resume only. No interview.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
IT Temp Diaries #10
First thing I do with a new guy is have him set up his computer. I gave
him a new in box PC and two monitors and told him to set it up.
I come back a little later and he couldn't get both monitors working. I look and find he had connected the DVI cable from one to the other, then the VGA cable from one to the PC. He thought they needed to be daisy-chained.
This isn't looking promising for work. But it might be good for lulz!
I come back a little later and he couldn't get both monitors working. I look and find he had connected the DVI cable from one to the other, then the VGA cable from one to the PC. He thought they needed to be daisy-chained.
This isn't looking promising for work. But it might be good for lulz!
IT Temp Diaries #9
Another temp. Today is his first day.
Another smoker. What the hell, agency?
Anyway, he's pretty bright. Former Marine. Not a lot of experience, but seemed ok in the interview.
He got here today, absolutely REEKING of stale cig smoke. Like he was hotboxing in the car. And he has horrible breath on top of it.
He was sitting next to me and I was tolerating the stench, showing him the morning checklist. All of a sudden a puff of smoke goes past my face. WTF?!??!?! I turn to look at him and he's got a fucking eCig in his mouth.
"Dude. No. That's not cool."
"Oh, ok." He puts it away.
A few minutes later, I've got him looking at my knowledge base, and he's fucking puffing away again. Really? FUCKING REALLY?
I'd like to say today will also be his last day, but bossman is tired of playing musical temps.
Sigh.
Another smoker. What the hell, agency?
Anyway, he's pretty bright. Former Marine. Not a lot of experience, but seemed ok in the interview.
He got here today, absolutely REEKING of stale cig smoke. Like he was hotboxing in the car. And he has horrible breath on top of it.
He was sitting next to me and I was tolerating the stench, showing him the morning checklist. All of a sudden a puff of smoke goes past my face. WTF?!??!?! I turn to look at him and he's got a fucking eCig in his mouth.
"Dude. No. That's not cool."
"Oh, ok." He puts it away.
A few minutes later, I've got him looking at my knowledge base, and he's fucking puffing away again. Really? FUCKING REALLY?
I'd like to say today will also be his last day, but bossman is tired of playing musical temps.
Sigh.
IT Temp Diaries #8
I have a step-by-step instruction for creating a batch file for some old
bullshit process on one of our legacy systems. "How could the temp
screw it up?" I asked myself.
Comes back, "It can't find the drive." That's the error? "Yeah. It can't find the drive."
I look at the batch file and he missed a space in the batch file, and the username in the FTP config file. I fix and it worked fine.
Me, after explaining what was wrong to the temp: How could you have found this yourself?
Temp: Putting in the space.
Me: No, I mean how could you have found the problem without me telling you what it was?
Temp: I don't know.
Me: Well, here you see in the instructions where it specifically says to insert the username in this line? And you see the space here between ftp and "-"?
Temp: I did that.
Me: no, you didn't. What I'm trying to do is show you that scripts and batch files are VERY specific. A tiny thing like a space can break the whole thing.
Temp: I put it in there.
Me: No you didn't.
Temp: I don't know where it went, but I put it there.
It went back and forth a few times like that. I finally said, yeah. It was aliens who deleted your space. He was accusing the computer of changing it after he saved it.
It's a goddamn batch file, nothing fucking sophisticated.
I'm done. I'm gonna raise shit with the boss. If he doesn't get rid of this useless piece of shit, I'm just gonna fucking ignore him from here on. I'm not wasting any time on him anymore.
Comes back, "It can't find the drive." That's the error? "Yeah. It can't find the drive."
I look at the batch file and he missed a space in the batch file, and the username in the FTP config file. I fix and it worked fine.
Me, after explaining what was wrong to the temp: How could you have found this yourself?
Temp: Putting in the space.
Me: No, I mean how could you have found the problem without me telling you what it was?
Temp: I don't know.
Me: Well, here you see in the instructions where it specifically says to insert the username in this line? And you see the space here between ftp and "-"?
Temp: I did that.
Me: no, you didn't. What I'm trying to do is show you that scripts and batch files are VERY specific. A tiny thing like a space can break the whole thing.
Temp: I put it in there.
Me: No you didn't.
Temp: I don't know where it went, but I put it there.
It went back and forth a few times like that. I finally said, yeah. It was aliens who deleted your space. He was accusing the computer of changing it after he saved it.
It's a goddamn batch file, nothing fucking sophisticated.
I'm done. I'm gonna raise shit with the boss. If he doesn't get rid of this useless piece of shit, I'm just gonna fucking ignore him from here on. I'm not wasting any time on him anymore.
IT Temp Diaries #7
He migrated a user Monday from an iPhone 4 to an iPhone 5. The 4 was on
an old iOS version (3.x) and had never been updated. Temp backed it up
using iTunes which required updating it.
That was the last I heard.
The user returned today, asking for his missing photos and Waze history. Temp was trying to explain to the user why it was all gone. (I don't know about Waze, but the photos should have been backed up.)
The user's old phone was on my desk. I fired it up and it had been wiped.
Me: Why would you wipe it before you were 100% sure it was all on the new phone.
Temp: I was!
Me: Obviously not.
I jumped on his machine and looked in iTunes. Sync photos wasn't checked. Shit.
I talked the user down and apologized profusely and got him out of here. Then I turned to Temp:
Me: So what are you going to do to figure out what happened?
Temp: blahblahexcuseblahblahexcuse
Me: Stop. You're not in trouble. But you need to figure out what exactly happened, and ensure it doesn't happen again.
Temp: blahblahexcuseblahblahexcuse
Me: No, this is your priority today. I need a step-by-step of what happened and what you will do next time to ensure it won't happen again.
He went on a bit longer, swearing he had selected photos, the update kept failing, etc.
I don't care that a mistake was made. Shit happens. But I want him to learn from the mistake. If he can't learn, he's useless to me.
That was the last I heard.
The user returned today, asking for his missing photos and Waze history. Temp was trying to explain to the user why it was all gone. (I don't know about Waze, but the photos should have been backed up.)
The user's old phone was on my desk. I fired it up and it had been wiped.
Me: Why would you wipe it before you were 100% sure it was all on the new phone.
Temp: I was!
Me: Obviously not.
I jumped on his machine and looked in iTunes. Sync photos wasn't checked. Shit.
I talked the user down and apologized profusely and got him out of here. Then I turned to Temp:
Me: So what are you going to do to figure out what happened?
Temp: blahblahexcuseblahblahexcuse
Me: Stop. You're not in trouble. But you need to figure out what exactly happened, and ensure it doesn't happen again.
Temp: blahblahexcuseblahblahexcuse
Me: No, this is your priority today. I need a step-by-step of what happened and what you will do next time to ensure it won't happen again.
He went on a bit longer, swearing he had selected photos, the update kept failing, etc.
I don't care that a mistake was made. Shit happens. But I want him to learn from the mistake. If he can't learn, he's useless to me.
IT Temp Diaries #6
He just came by, "I have to wait for <user> to get in before I can set up his email. He's second shift."
Me: Why? I told you to reset his password in the ticket.
Temp: How?
Me: In active directory...
Temp: He's not in active directory.
Me: yeah, he is.
Temp: No he's not.
Me: dude, just open AD
Temp: Oh, hey. How come I couldn't find him from over there?
Me: facepalm
Me: Why? I told you to reset his password in the ticket.
Temp: How?
Me: In active directory...
Temp: He's not in active directory.
Me: yeah, he is.
Temp: No he's not.
Me: dude, just open AD
Temp: Oh, hey. How come I couldn't find him from over there?
Me: facepalm
IT Temp Diaries #5
He's been transferring and closing tickets with no comments in them. So I
take a moment to give him some coaching on putting something in there
explaining what he did. Before I even finish the first sentence, "Oh, I
DID do that!" No, you didn't. "YES I DID." No, you didn't. "YES!"
Seriously, dude, quit fucking arguing.
Seriously, dude, quit fucking arguing.
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